tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post215764135566452332..comments2024-03-27T18:48:10.583-04:00Comments on Soberbia: The Daily Struggleamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04611431855409976777noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-39090018293740443022014-08-12T21:15:59.669-04:002014-08-12T21:15:59.669-04:00Yes. I know what you mean. Thank you for sharing y...Yes. I know what you mean. Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us. I wish I could sit across from you and chat for an afternoon. It's been 8 months and 18 days since that morning I was so hungover and disgusted with myself and happened upon a magazine article about you. Something about you and your words resonated with me. I could see and hear myself... Just like your post today. I am thankful to be sober but understanding that there is a lot more to all this than not drinking. Hugs Denise Dee88811https://www.blogger.com/profile/10134806853460059143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-60497003971731447612014-08-03T09:55:13.068-04:002014-08-03T09:55:13.068-04:00So amazing....there is hopeSo amazing....there is hopeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-30756441759739226662014-07-30T08:07:55.168-04:002014-07-30T08:07:55.168-04:00Wow. This is so profound. I have been feeling th...Wow. This is so profound. I have been feeling this exact way my whole life but could never quite define what it was. I just broke down when I read this. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-45934367847965060472014-07-30T02:37:16.191-04:002014-07-30T02:37:16.191-04:00Thank you for writing this. Ths so resonates with ...Thank you for writing this. Ths so resonates with how I see the process of sobriety. Love it.Chris Haugenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04643649306042989740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-58478056301348835642014-07-28T20:05:33.759-04:002014-07-28T20:05:33.759-04:00This is a truly beautiful post by a truly beautifu...This is a truly beautiful post by a truly beautiful woman who I am honored to call my friend. Moved me so deeply. Thank you thank you thank you.<br /><br />SherrySoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-71322406872381340622014-07-28T04:25:11.569-04:002014-07-28T04:25:11.569-04:00Hi Amy, thanks for this lovely post. I really rela...Hi Amy, thanks for this lovely post. I really related to that feeling you describe as having as a child - I felt that, too - on the sidelines, odd one out, awkwardly in the way, in the wrong place at the wrong time. A jigsaw piece from the wrong box. All anyone really wants is to feel loved and wanted, and it sounds as though your children will grow up feeling just that. It is the best gift you can give them. xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-33263047671197785402014-07-26T17:00:36.536-04:002014-07-26T17:00:36.536-04:00That's it! It's because I've been eati...That's it! It's because I've been eating luscious ripe plums all summer long! :) <br /><br />Seriously, those lines say it perfectly. My heart leaps up when I read that because it was EXACTLY what I've been saying to myself in my head. I've been trying to "tempt happiness" by making back alley deals and using lots of smoke and mirrors when all I needed to do was to get my body feeling loved and cared for. I agree that I feel further from myself the more I try to think and read myself "well".<br /><br />I default to it too- and it makes my personal relationships suffer- me being all predict-y about how people feel and arranging in my head the way things will turn out even though they haven't happened yet. Or because I don't love myself enough no one can love me enough and then I get kind of hard hearted and distant. And it's really hard to let someone like my sweet husband care for me. It makes me feel very much like the great human burden. So I'm practicing saying "Help" a lot, and also "thank you, that would be nice of you". <br /><br />I am always so thrilled to see a new post pop up from you too! And when I ever see you I will be throw a parade lit up about that too. :) amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-80769600809780615682014-07-26T16:52:16.721-04:002014-07-26T16:52:16.721-04:00I want to love my children like they will never fo...I want to love my children like they will never forget too- so that they will never forget to love themselves. And I did not want to die. Somehow I had enough sense of self preservation to know that. Thank you so much for your kind words. amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-31248041064600527832014-07-26T16:50:33.596-04:002014-07-26T16:50:33.596-04:00You are not alone. You are not ever alone. It'...You are not alone. You are not ever alone. It's like I had to forgive my self for being "unlovable" to understand that I was never unlovable. You are not alone because you are there, with you. And then here we are, out here. It's as crowded as you need it to be. :)amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-85350788290037533522014-07-26T16:47:08.129-04:002014-07-26T16:47:08.129-04:00Hey Angie! Thank you. Your real test is every day....Hey Angie! Thank you. Your real test is every day. You just know the answer now so the test is much easier. I know you can do it. Now- you know it, too. <br /><br />Amyamyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-10460060172160766542014-07-25T15:13:40.851-04:002014-07-25T15:13:40.851-04:00Amy, your post moved me to tears, but it makes me ...Amy, your post moved me to tears, but it makes me so happy, too, like I might try to spin cartwheels and yell, "Yes! Yes! Yes to everything!" I love what you say about getting out of the tangled thinking and finding how to be in your body. All the talk of motives and reasons and thinking about what and why can be helpful, but I also find it can alienate me from my life. You remind me of a Mary Oliver poem I like a lot, The Plum Trees, in which she says, "joy is a taste" and then this great line, "Listen/ the only way/ to tempt happiness into your mind is by taking it/ into the body first, like small/ wild plums." <br /><br />But what you say about being a child and feeling there was never anyone delighted to see you, I know that one, as I had the same thing as a child and young person, and it's still something I default to. And I do often think the drinking was a short-cut to a way to feel something like love that doesn't involve other people. Of course, that's not a love that's going to work, but it is a body-feeling. I think finding other ways to that feeling, which mean accepting yourself, and love, and people, and the whole big messy glorious world, that's what's going to save us. (I just ordered a book called, "Addiction: A kind of loving." If it's good, I'll pass along what the writer has to say.)<br /><br />Big love and hugs to you. And I must add, I am always, always delighted to see you! (Poems will be typed and sent soon.) xoxoAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08288935120774241198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-12919589215543107212014-07-25T15:11:07.865-04:002014-07-25T15:11:07.865-04:00This an amazing and beautiful post. I've read ...This an amazing and beautiful post. I've read it two times and have cried each time.<br />"It was this: I wanted to love myself more than I wanted to kill myself."<br />Wow. Yes. Yes. Yes.<br />I too want to love myself more than I want to kill myself. It's so profound a statement, it is something I will remember forever. I also want to love myself and my children like they will never forget. Thank you this beautiful post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-37087428101301729992014-07-25T08:35:24.696-04:002014-07-25T08:35:24.696-04:00I am weeping:. "The daily struggle began for...I am weeping:. "The daily struggle began for me when I was five. I can remember feeling forgotten. I can remember trying to be noticed, trying to feel important. I can clearly never remember feeling like I was the person someone was delighted to see. I was an afterthought. For everyone- my parents, my friends. I was an outline of a girl and I was on the sidelines.This may not have been the intention of anyone, but it is a consistent truth in my life. Because of this I cradle my children close every single day and look them in the eyes so they know that they are the lights of my life. I tell them: you are a joy to me. I tell them: you make me happy. That without them my world would be less than. That they are tall as to space important in this world. I tell myself these things too. There is nothing like the comfort of being loved just because you are just you." You just described me and my childhood and my relationship with my children. I am not alone. My god. I am not alone.<br /><br />Cassienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-77706033181007018262014-07-24T21:25:20.622-04:002014-07-24T21:25:20.622-04:00Hi Amy, I'm fairly new to the blogging world, ...Hi Amy, I'm fairly new to the blogging world, but I wanted to let you know that I love your blog. You are so honest and I find your posts really helpful. I am on day 25 of Dry July but I am hoping to continue beyond that. My real test will come when July over. I would love to find peace of mind. I've only just started my journey, I hope I can get to a place where you are now. AxAngiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07553400229726508527noreply@blogger.com