tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post7171702312610106226..comments2024-03-27T18:48:10.583-04:00Comments on Soberbia: Giving Without Giving Inamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04611431855409976777noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-14811681504685747432014-04-13T21:10:38.140-04:002014-04-13T21:10:38.140-04:00Yup! I get this one, Amy. It's taken me a co...Yup! I get this one, Amy. It's taken me a couple years now to understand all this. I still fall into the old ways at times. I get all people pleasing and such, but nowhere near how I used to before. Creating BOUNDARIES has been one of the toughest, yet most rewarding things I have done. Tough to say no, and try not to feel wound up about it (guilt? remorse? selfish?), but you know what? I too need to carve out space for my own thoughts and personal achievements. Sure, being of service to others (family, friends, etc) is important. But I am no good to anyone if I am chewing resentment over resentment over the fact that I am doing things because I think that is what I expect other people to expect from me! Insanity. Most normal people don't do that.<br /><br />Sigh. But man, when it hums, it hums. People start to see you differently. Sure we need to compromise at times, to capitulate at the right times, but we also need time to pick sweater lint and stare at the stars. For no other reason that it's just needed.<br /><br />Great post - love the new look here :)<br /><br />PaulAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-30848390209576116472014-04-13T17:08:12.002-04:002014-04-13T17:08:12.002-04:00I often think of us living our mama lives so simil...I often think of us living our mama lives so similar so far away. :) amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-67963454437780693722014-04-12T19:18:32.618-04:002014-04-12T19:18:32.618-04:00I'm new here. Thinking I need to stop drinkin...I'm new here. Thinking I need to stop drinking. Today day 1. Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02203353567630273723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-61854019170799819332014-04-12T15:23:47.174-04:002014-04-12T15:23:47.174-04:00I keep coming back to the idea that we teach other...I keep coming back to the idea that we teach others how to treat us. Nothing changes if nothing changes.universe amynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-71790149597415772442014-04-12T13:57:43.374-04:002014-04-12T13:57:43.374-04:00Hi Amy, I just came back from vacation with hubs a...Hi Amy, I just came back from vacation with hubs and kids. We stayed with family. It was tough enough to be sober around all the drinking but what was worse is that my family dictated the whole vacation. They weren't cruel or mean they just didn't give me any space to be on my own and relax. Walking? I walk with you. Laying out by pool to read your book? I'll come out with you and drink my vodka tonic and engage in conversation... Going to movies with your family? Wait I took day off and I'll come with you but you'll have to wait because I still need to blow dry my hair. Day trip planned to the zoo and new beach? Wait your husband needs to help your Uncle with plumbing issue for couple of hours before you go. So sorry you didn't make it to beach but it means a lot that you helped us with the faucet...(I think that this price we "pay" for staying at their home). I was so PISSED OFF! No one realizes how much I needed a break a rest from my every day life. But I didn't speak up. A part of me feels selfish for wanting alone time. They just love me and want to spend time with me and my family. It's all about me, reading your post today after I returned home was eye opening and so much like ... wow! Why do I continue to accept the crumbs of life? What don't I think that I am valuable or worthy? I just don't know. Thank you for being out here and sharing. You bring clarity and light to my inner feelings. Dee88811https://www.blogger.com/profile/10134806853460059143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-51803229970016007892014-04-11T10:15:31.346-04:002014-04-11T10:15:31.346-04:00This week I decided that I am not going to give up...This week I decided that I am not going to give up the chocolate chunks out of my trail mix to my cute 6 year old, who has some sort of sixth sense for snacks. I will take time in the late afternoons to write if I want, and I will continue to delegate more tasks like setting the table. No one but me insisted I do these things in the first place, and it's been a real eye opener how simple self care can be. Love the sound of listening to wind while snug in a sleeping bag. Beautiful post. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-81603712408641596352014-04-10T13:29:48.643-04:002014-04-10T13:29:48.643-04:00Great post! I also notice I do more often what I w...Great post! I also notice I do more often what I want to and people still love me;-) Maybe even better. Before, when I drank, I was Always trying to please -and then feeling secretly resentful because I did'nt do what I really felt like. I think I did this because I was always a bit ashamed and feeling guilty. <br />I also feel I have more to give now, giving without giving in: you said it beautifully, thank you! <br />Love, N.MayaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-12671613332025510322014-04-09T13:54:45.595-04:002014-04-09T13:54:45.595-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Scott McKinneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13400796819794145196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-10950192662972097972014-04-08T22:32:13.947-04:002014-04-08T22:32:13.947-04:00Oh my GOOOOOODDDDD I love this post. I love it. I ...Oh my GOOOOOODDDDD I love this post. I love it. I love the image of you in your snuggly sleeping bag in your tent. I love the details about your wifey/mothery life which are so similar to mine. I love the symmetry and poetry and beautiful flow of your words that just seem to have been put together brilliantly and crafted just perfectly for this wonderful weighty, profound, complex yet beautifully simple post. And most of all I love that you got sober. You got yourself sober. Love xxxxMrs Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13110933370498728198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-47244008950212476932014-04-08T18:26:38.343-04:002014-04-08T18:26:38.343-04:00This is one really worth practicing- it can allow ...This is one really worth practicing- it can allow freedom from all others ideals and catering to our self needs honestly and without guilt or malice. <br /><br />I am a nature girl through and through. :) <br /><br />Thanks for being my friend even though I don't really watch tv or dry my hair at all. :)<br /><br />You are special too! Xoxoamyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-38868473211628313792014-04-08T18:23:33.373-04:002014-04-08T18:23:33.373-04:00Thank you :)Thank you :)amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-89631779148543486972014-04-08T18:23:12.291-04:002014-04-08T18:23:12.291-04:00Controlling the train wreck- it just doesn't h...Controlling the train wreck- it just doesn't happen. It was certainly quite easy to let alcohol control it all- and such a hard way to live. Now it feels like i can get beyond the selfishness of being an active alcoholic, be actually self-ish, and make things happen. Thanks for the kuddos. :)amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-15770655375211587372014-04-08T18:18:32.832-04:002014-04-08T18:18:32.832-04:00I just need to learn to listen to that voice- hear...I just need to learn to listen to that voice- hear it and obey it. Usually it's my own fuck it voice drowning out the sound of sense. Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for being here. It means a lot. Xoamyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-35059394672518287282014-04-08T18:16:37.251-04:002014-04-08T18:16:37.251-04:00I become more and more convinced that the better c...I become more and more convinced that the better care I take of me the better care I take of everyone. amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121059866790215726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-6073566196865169912014-04-08T17:37:35.568-04:002014-04-08T17:37:35.568-04:00Genius! Still a lesson I'm learning but one w...Genius! Still a lesson I'm learning but one worth working hard for.<br /><br />As much as we are the same I have found one area where we definitely differ. I do not camp nor do I have any desire to live off the grid. I love the grid...and TV, and blow dryers...<br /><br />But I have to admit that you made it sound very peaceful.<br /><br />Be good to my friend...she's pretty special.<br /><br />SherrySoberMomWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845259535764391849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-86554382600337337352014-04-08T16:36:32.191-04:002014-04-08T16:36:32.191-04:00Lovely, just lovely :) xxLovely, just lovely :) xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-4310041784562860442014-04-08T06:47:31.392-04:002014-04-08T06:47:31.392-04:00Ha, absolutely, I think a lot of us have been in c...Ha, absolutely, I think a lot of us have been in complete control of the train wrecks in our lives. How easy that was and yet how hard it can be to do the polar opposite! Congrats and wow and happy 16 months of awesomeness!!! <br /><br />MLmizzleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11702108497545487820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-18194331129430004112014-04-07T20:22:43.697-04:002014-04-07T20:22:43.697-04:00This is an on going battle in my life. The inkling...This is an on going battle in my life. The inkling that what I want matters is always in my mind....but sometimes it is so quiet that the other voices (my family) blare over it. I really really enjoyed reading this and I needed it today. Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us. Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18326425173333184401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136268241054850544.post-31095426052919983272014-04-07T19:14:36.172-04:002014-04-07T19:14:36.172-04:00Bravo!!!!! My counselor told me it's not being...Bravo!!!!! My counselor told me it's not being selfish, it's being self caring! So care away girlie!! I still struggle too but I'm a lot better. Thanks for reminding me to be self caring. Think I'll go get a bowl of ice cream and my book! :)Beachgurlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01780571025318757105noreply@blogger.com