Merry Christmas Y'all!
I'm nineteen days sober today. It seems like a lifetime. I woke up this morning and felt so deep down grateful that I'm not hungover today. Really deep down grateful.
It's no surprise to be writing about sobriety as a gift, the best gift. No one can tell you or make you, you just have to one day wake up believing that you are going to be able to do it. And then tell yourself over and over and over and over that you are doing it. And then it gets easier, and then whoops, harder- then OK again. When I wake up in the morning and I don't have that awful feeling of dread, dead tired and sad- I just know, for that moment, that I can make it one more day, one more week or two- that I can string those days together until they become a collection and starting over seems so stupid. It feels good to say big numbers like 17, 18, & 19 in my head.
Sobriety is a present in every meaning of the word. Pre-sent and pres-ent. An offering and a moment. A gift and a time; the gift of time. A hard-earned struggle-y hoot and holler look at me go this sucks ass ever changing present. And it fits just right.