Tuesday, December 17, 2013

10 Days Until Christmas: Countdown of Good Reasons to be Sober Day 10

Day 10

I was sick in bed all day yesterday which is why we're having day 10 and 9 on the same day. I wanted to post, and then also wanted to sleep a lot. I feel better today, not 100% but better. I had my day 10 all picked out, but now I'm switching 10 and 9, because 9 seems more like it should be where 10 is and vice versa. Without further ado.....

10th Good Reason to be Sober

Care-taking

I debated for an hour before I called in sick to work yesterday. This was around 4 AM. Finally my voice- you know that one, the smooth Sade voice that soothes you and mothers you when you are all chatterbug: "No no no, I have to go. I can, it will be fine, blah blah bullshit bullshit....." And then Mama Sade steps in and talks some sense: "You are sick honey. It's OK to stay home. It's OK to get well. You need sleep and hot tea. It's OK to take care of you. It's OK to take care of you."

Being sober has given me the enormous gift of knowing when I need some lovingcare. It has made it easy to recognize my crazy making self and be able to reach out for her hand and say, "Whoa there. Slow down. Stop all that thinking and breathe a minute. You are OK." It has made it a priority for me to look out for numero uno- me. Which isn't selfish, or rude, or taking anything away from anyone else. Being my own care-taker has made me trust myself again. Who is looking out for me? Me, that's who.

And because I take care of myself I can deal with life. I get to feel strong enough to weather the storm. I get to have faith in me because I give myself love and tenderness and care.

4 comments:

  1. Oh dear, I've spun so far out of the loop that when I read "Day 10", I thought you'd had a relapse. I'm so glad, relieved, doing the reindeer dance happy to know that you haven't and that as usual I've committed another skippity-hoppity reading dunder.

    No relapse! That's a great reason to be grateful and sober.

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you- it isn't easy to do. But I'm getting better with practice.

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