Friday, May 17, 2013

Like the Normal

Here are some things going on in no particular order:

  • This morning I realized I had no idea what number of days sober I was on! And so of course, I just counted them: 166! How cool!

  • I am grinning a bit since I would have never, in a million ba-jillion years thought that I would quit drinking and not keep a close count. But I guess once they start piling up you just sort of.....get on with it. 

  • And then, the tag on my tea bag says this: "Be proud of who you are." (It's one of my favorite things about Yogi teas- the sayings.) I've switched from coffee to decaf tea recently since coffee was kind of taking over my whole life. Luckily I only spent about two and a half months drinking coffee recklessly. Phew!

  • My job is about to chill out big time, which will help with so much. (And please, y'all. I have a very simple job. But it's about to get simpler, and I'll reduce my hours. So I can concentrate on other stuff. Like my children. The garden. My new fabulous sewing career! Not being at work all the fucking time!) I chose to make a change since I am miserable where I am- and instead of grinding away for a few more years drinking and resenting it I decided to change that shit. Something I would have never, evah! done if I weren't sober. I still have to brave up and reiterate the hours I want to work- I kind of wishy-washed around when my new boss asked me yesterday. Not being afraid to speak up for what you want is kind of hard! But.....we can do hard things. 

  • I'm going to visit my brother and his family this weekend. I've already told him I quit drinking in that "no big deal" way. I don't know whether to have a bigger talk with him about it. 

  • I told one of my oldest and best friends about being sober. At first I was also going to take that the casual route- you know, "Oh, just quitting for a bit for a challenge.....blah blah yadda yadda." Then I realized that would be a lie, and I don't do bullshit anymore. So I told her, and told her about this blog. And she read it, and was supportive. And we will analyze it thoroughly on our annual camping trip I'm sure. I cannot wait to hear what she thinks. 

  • The longer I'm sober, the longer I want to OWN IT. It is a huge-mungous part of who I am. Hiding it would kind of be like trying to hide one of my legs. "Oh, that? Just one leg, nothing to see here.....move along....." It would be awkward to tuck up behind my back, or it would make my one leg look really giant. And then it might pop out suddenly *sproing!* and how do you suddenly explain a surprise random extra leg? It's just easier to have it be a part of me like: "My favorite color is purple, I love to run, I'm sober, kale is my favorite food....." I think the preemptive strike is easier, because it's all on your own terms. So I'm sticking to that. (But not the over sharing method. Just because you got it out that doesn't mean you have to wave it all around in everyone's faces.)
  • Life is good. Like, pretty really good! I really am treasuring all these normal days, and they are starting to feel like the normal. When I sit and review the past five months I am amazed at how different my life is! It pays to take time to reflect. I must add that to my helpful help getting sober hints:
  1. Have special things to drink: seltzer, fresh fruit juice- the splurge-y stuff you would never buy because you spent all your money on booze. That $6 Pellegrino is yours for the taking!
  2. Be kind to self. Sleep when tired. stick the kids in front of the TV for a while so you can nap, or just hide in bed for 45 minutes. Buy small treats: tea, flowers. Pamper self! 
  3. Take time to reflect. All these changes aren't easy to see when you take them day by day. Play a mental movie of your new life. Write them down. Hug sweet self. 


  1. Amen my friend...a-the hell-men.


  2. I can just picture everything just settling in where they need to be...very cool to hear. The normal for me is just things not being chaotic and forced and unpredictable and messy and angry. Normal can be neat and tidy, but hey, I will take that rather than insane. I still feel like dust is still settling, and I am ok with that now.

    I think what you said about reflecting is great - it's always good to see where we have come from, and where things are now. I say this because sometimes we're so caught up in ourselves, we fail to see what bounty has surrounded us. I know I am so grateful for so many things, but when I get caught up in me, I don't see it. And like I've said many times here before, you can feel the change in your posts. It's fascinating and wonderful to see. I can only imagine how your family sees it now.

    Love and light,