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| Thanks universe! |
Now that the excitement has died down a bit (I know! I'm still thrilled, aren't you?) there's even more to it.
Amy goes to a meeting on Tuesdays. I'm not sure if it's an AA meeting, or just a women in recovery meeting. But it's a meeting. A gathering of women folk who are like me. You know, people with extra drink-y pasts. Maybe that will be the first thing I learn in the meeting: How to call myself an alcoholic. But I don't want to, because that isn't who I am anymore. See? But I digress.....
This is exciting and then a minute later not exciting. As in, "Yay! I can share my stuff, and people who get it will get it. Ahhhhh. And then as in, "Um, share? In front of people? That I don't know? Aghhhhhh!"
However. Since I am brave, and I take deep breaths and then show people who I am I'm going. And I'm probably going to cry, and laugh. And feel nervous and embarrassed. But I did get new orange shoes for my birthday, so I will wear them and they will help me be brave. Deep breath.
Now, in even more friendship news: Maintaining the Zen lives close to me. We're going to meet halfway for lunch in the next few months. Another sober friend. :) And then I found out yesterday that my new-ish friend whom I adore doesn't drink either. Wow! I'm up to three!
You're going to be fine. You'll know immediately if you like the group or not but whatever your gut reaction, give it a few meetings before you make your final decision...just in case it's fear and not real emotion.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the alcoholic thing. I finally say that out loud but it still doesn't feel right in my mouth.
Oh well, just more for us to talk about when we meet!
Sherry
Yay! When we meet!
DeleteBravery is what this game is all about. As long as we remember fear isn't a symptom of weakness, fear is there to make us braver and braver and stronger and stronger.
ReplyDeleteToo put it more succinctly, We better get used to scaring ourselves shitless. ;)
P.S. I just ordered me a whole new batch of "brave" clothes. We be stylin'
It's funny, my clothing choices get more me as time goes by. Before I was all browns and navy and grey and black. Now I'm bright royal blue, and orange, and yellow. All together. :)
DeleteBeing brave is what it's all about. And that feels so good.
Very cool! I was just writing a post about how it is we laugh and cry and identify in meetings and amongst ourselves even here in the blogosphere and then I saw that your new post came up...synchronicity...love it! Love brave orange shoes...ha ha. I was nervous the first time I went to a meeting (mind you, I was still detoxing in the back row...not pleasant!) and I found myself feeling more at ease the more people spoke. I didn't talk at that first meeting, and it took me the (non orange shoes) courage to speak up, but I felt a whole lot better when I did. Especially when people were nodding their heads when I spoke - people understood me! They knew what I was talking about! So I am happy to hear that you are also meeting Sherry - awesome. I wish I were a fly on the wall on that one :)
ReplyDeleteIt's going to be great, nervous or not.
This made my day.
Paul
Courage, bravery- what makes sobriety work. Especially in orange shoes! :)
DeleteBeautiful post. Love that you're finding new sober friends and also that you got orange shoes for your birthday. Love.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteThat's really awesome, Amy! So glad you are meeting some sober friends! I love how the universe listens to us sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to start paying attention to what I ask for. It seems that someone is listening! :)
DeleteI am so excited for you. The timing is so right for you too. I think you are really brave and setting a great example to those of us who are thinking about it too...maybe. Anything is worth a try. I am rooting for you, for it to go amazingly well. You deserve it! Can't wait to hear how you get on. Exciting times.
ReplyDeleteGo Amy xx
Hi! I just nominated you for a "Shine On" award! To accept and participate in the fun go here: http://lifecorked.com/2013/05/08/paying-it-forward/. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThis is all so excellent. And also inspiring. You made a comment to me in an email about how I might need to think about making some more changes in my life to stay sober. Or words to that effect. In any case it pertained to hanging out with drinking buddies and relapsing. I gave that one some thought while away and realised that I'm doing what I've read about so many saying doesn't work - trying to keep my life the same minus the booze. We don't have to change EVERYTHING but we do have to change a lot. And I think a big part of that might be surrounding ourselves with people who are either sober themselves or at least quite supportive. So... new sober friends. May we both keep finding them out there in the universe.
ReplyDelete(And I'm a little jealous of your new buddy 'cause I wish I could be your real life sober pal. But, hey, I'm happy to have you as my special soberverse friend.)
xx