Monday, July 1, 2013
Isn't it odd how we tend to forget this very important fact? Or maybe you don't. I'm glad if you don't. I can't say the same thing for me. I forget all the time. It might be that patience part of me that I'm trying to strengthen not quite being even a muscle yet. I start just dashing through life, teeth clenched in my sleep, tension tuned and at the ready. Pushing myself around and kind of living in a busy fog. Not seeing the forest for the trees.
I went for a little run this morning. It was fine. And by fine I mean I wanted to run into runs arms and swing it around grinning "I missed you so!" Note to self: stop avoiding exercise. It makes you crazy.
I have my second meeting today. I'm nervous again, but not about the meeting, more about what sorts of shit it will dredge up. I've tried to patch things up with myself the best I could, but real forgive-me-ness is still a ways away. To get better I have to accept my past. To stay better I have to not repeat it. I'm not really mad at myself, just sad about the things that I'll excavate, and wondering how to deal.
I do know this: self care is crucial in my feeling OK. Eating right, moving my bod, sleeping. Taking a minute if I need it. Being understanding. Showing the love. Self care. Cause the more of it I have, the more I have to give.
Also, a warm congratulations to my dear pen pal Belle who is celebrating a one year of sobriety today. Here's to you friend! I'm glad to be a part of it.