Monday, July 1, 2013
It's 2:25. AM. WTF? This has been a big ol' week of emotional hell.
There's the PMS. The eating that goes with it. The I Can't Run Blues. The inner pot stirring from going to not one but TWO therapy sessions. I feel like I'm caught in an emotion tornado. "I'm OK! I'm not! Yes, I'm fine! No! No I'm not!" Whirl, whirl whirl. Seriously, there might be a cow flying by.
My husband and I had a fight/discussion yesterday about.....money. We were yelling, and mad, and then sitting side by side. We decided to cancel our beach trip (sob) and be responsible adults. Who.....me? For the first time in almost nine years of being married I think we might have heard each other- learned something. Deep breath.
This week is requiring some thought- thought that I haven't really had time for. More deep breath.
Which is probably why I'm up and blogging in the middle of the night. Noticing that I feel frantic. Not like myself.
And then the light bulb goes on. Go back to bed. Get some sleep. Stop white knuckling. Don't be nervous. Stop piddling and wasting time doing nothing (And by nothing I mean cruising around Facebook and Huff Post on the computer. Time-suck-a-saurus.) Try a small run. Go to yoga. Don't build Rome in a day. Stop trying to solve everything, stop looking so needlessly for the answer. Because it changes every day. Maybe roll with it a bit. Control freak, anyone?
More deep breath. And sheep. Best be counting some sheep.