Remember how you decided to try something? And then it worked?
The media free thing worked. We had dinner a little early. I was actually present and not flopping from email and Facebook to refereeing the kiddos. Each child had a long bath. Lots of stories. Youngest was asleep by eight. Oldest and I lounged about reading our books and making idle chit chat. Bedtime was a happy thing.
Remember how, when you put your foot down, it kind of sucked, but then it was totally worth it?
Boundaries y'all. Concentrating on what makes life work, and then doing it. Keeping trying. And coaching yourself in your head that you are doing just fine, with sympathy when you mess it up a bit. "You'll do better next time" instead of "You've ruined it forever". And realizing that things take time. So if it doesn't look exactly like what you want it to today, that doesn't subtract from the effort. Making a life is hard good work.
And loads of deep breaths. :)
Oh I wish I had thought of that when mine were younger...but I was still drinking then so it wouldn't have worked.
ReplyDeleteYou are rocking this.
SD
I'm with Sherry here - you're rocking it. Boundaries - yes! I have learned a lot when it comes to them...and like you mentioned, things turn out, don't they? Less drama, less vagueness, less wishy washy-ness, less troubling thoughts, less stress. I continue to work and practice my boundaries. My weakness is probably following through on disciplining the children (I sounded like a headmaster there for a second). I tell myself I am a softie, or that not all parents are perfect...so I use that to justify not sticking to my ground. But it's gotten better, and it's been a bit easier now that they are getting a bit older.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you on the media free thing. I have thought about it - it would be a great chance to sit with more stillness and be more present. Glad to hear that it's worked more than what you thought it would do!
Inspirational!
Paul
So awesome! I love what you said, "You'll do better next time" instead of "You've ruined it forever" - boy I used to think like that, there was no trying again or getting better at it, just I am done and that's it. So glad you are giving yourself a chance to do better, but it sounds like it went great already! Woot woot! - Maggie.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good advice, to concentrate on what makes life work. When I do, it all works pretty good. But then I forget D'OH! And you are spot on, to show sympathy to oneself. I mean, when a friend messes up a bit - surely you don't tell him or her "Look what you did stupid! You ruined it!" I could never say such a thing to a friend, instead I encourage them to try again. Why should I be any less deserving of sympathy and kindness?
ReplyDeleteBe kind to youself as you are you own very best friend!
I hope you enjoy a splendid Friday, take care!
I'm a big fan of the deep breathing! :-)
ReplyDeleteBTW love the name of your blog. Cracked me up first time I saw it.