Thursday, December 19, 2013

7 Days Until Christmas: Countdown of Good Reasons to be Sober Day 7

Day 7

I never knew how many feelings I had until I started actually having them.

7th Good Reason to be Sober

Feelin' it

When I was drinking I pretty much had three feelings: drunk, hungover, and guilty.

Now, holy moly. There are so many feelings I might have to ask some to just please sit down and wait your turn. They aren't all joy and peace either- some of those bitches grab on with the big teeth and will not let go. Sometimes I feel so gleeful and glorious and whole altogether that I might turn myself inside out with my grin. Sometimes I feel quiet and thinkful, then thankful, then cranky and crazy making. Mostly I just feel pretty dang normal. Divinely normal.

One feeling that never goes away is this: blessed. I don't mean in a grab your book of hymns and march it down to the pews way, or a someone go get Jesus way. (But if you want to go ahead. He's a cool guy. And I do like singing.) I mean it in a deep down wash me in rainbows way. A woot woot woot WOOT! way. In the earnest thank you way that this is now my life. Because I am sober I get to feel it all.

That feels worth it.




10 comments:

  1. You inspire me and your stories make me so GLAD I am not hungover!!!!
    Nothing is worth that anymore.

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  2. The guilt gripped me, tormented me and ultimately saved me xxx

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    1. Ah yes, the gift of guilt. God knows I unwrapped it every moment. Jeez, am I glad that's over. :) xoxoxo

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  3. The no drink guilt is the biggest kept secret of it all. I'd exchange the roller-coaster of emotions for not having that one emotion any day :)

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    1. Yes! I'll take my saddest worst day over that anytime. I think maybe because even my worst days aren't even close to that despair I felt.

      Thank goodness for the roller coaster!

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  4. Amy these are awesome postings and enjoy every one of them. unfortunately am still struggling and have no idea how to make it through this holiday :( have way too many family issues...not a happy person right now and so looking forward to the time to let you know that I am finally ready for the 100 day challenge and poop on these family issues. I need to do it for me..."no drinking NO MATTER WHAT!!"

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    1. Thank you. I'm sorry you're struggling. Email me if you need a pen pal, ok?

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  5. Guilt is a killer. Ugh. I don't miss that one. And when I do get it...it's a killer. As they say, if you don't want to feel guilty, stop doing things that make you feel guilty. Almost simple enough for even a guy like me to follow...ha ha.

    Paul

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    1. Drink guilt was the worst. Until I'd had enough to drink! ;)

      Did I just make a joke? About drinking? Now there's some progress. :)

      Cheers Paul!

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