Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A First

It used to be that every so often I'd get "creative". In other words, get a little drunk then want to paint or create something. It would be fun, and there were loads of cigarette breaks and tons of swilling and I'd inevitably go about three steps too far and ruin it when all was said and drunk.

This week I've done TWO projects that would have called for some serious wine drinking and cig smoking. Both without any of that. Monday I planted plants and fixed up the back porch (my old private drinking spot) with new chairs. I've been dreading the spring- how will I sit out there and not want to head right back to drinky town? Like this: change that mother fucker completely. It looks nothing like it used to. It looks like a great place for a book and a cup of tea. It's going to be heavy with tomatoes and herbs, peppers and flowers by the time July arrives. It looks like a place a sober woman like me wants to be. I just have to twirl some lights around the railing as a finishing touch. I threw away the flower pot with all the cigarette butts in it. Did you know I quit smoking the same day I quit drinking? I don't miss that stinky habit either. Now I can have zinnias instead of cigarette butts. This new life rules.

And! Project number two...painting my desk. I sanded it and everything. This project would have been perfect for wine etc. As I was sanding my desk I kept thinking about how I would have stopped for "breaks" and how I would not have been as careful or as caring about my pretty new desk- I would have just been rushing to get it done so I could take more breaks. Instead I did it right, took my time. Leaned my head back and forth. Breathed in and out. Stopped to have a coffee and a cookie when I started feeling impatient. Two more coats of paint and an overnight to dry and I'll be all set. A few days left. Me and my pretty peacock blue desk. Blogging about how awesome it is to be sober.

As hard as it is, as sad as I feel sometimes, I still get the magic of this life. I get so grateful to have even just this one another day to be sober. To be me and me and me. To wait for the good parts. To put in the time to make it what I want, not just rush muddle it to be finished. The patient part is the part that makes it all worthwhile.


14 comments:

  1. Whooo on your projects!!

    It's amazing what a clear head and lots of energy can do! That porch sounds perfect!

    Jenny

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    1. And also, what you can get accomplished when the children are away for the week! :)

      Thanks!

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  2. officially jealous. peacock blue desk. i have a turquoise tinted glass desk which has to be dusted all the time. a wooden desk is so solid. a backyard with a good chair is so divine.

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    1. I will send you a wooden desk in the mail. Filled with cookies. ;)

      There are two chairs. Come by anytime. :)

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  3. Sounds absolutely awesome! And so creative! Love it :)

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  4. After I quit drinking, I turned my drinking nook in my bedroom into a reading nook. It still took me a while to feel comfortable going there but eventually I got over it.

    I'm envious of what sounds like a beautiful spot to meditate, contemplate and just be happy.

    Sherry

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    1. The porch was my drinking spot for sure. I am still nervous about sitting out there, but there's nothing to do but to do it. Now if it would stop sleeting in April I would do just that!

      Thanks Sherry. :)

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  5. LOVE this post. It's really all the little things that are better :)

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  6. Oh, and the big things.





    And pretty much all things.

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  7. Yup - I lived for the breaks and the "inspiration" via bottle too. Got to the point where I didn't even bother with projects any more - the alcohol had killed any ambition I had any more. I couldn't even do dishes or bathe properly at the end there. But when I was writing, for sure I needed "something" to get the juices flowing. The only thing flowing was booze and then I would lose interest in what I was doing, find something on Youtube to obsess about and maybe deliver an email to someone who I hadn't spoken to in years who *needed* an email then and there from me..lol. Amazing what we can get accomplished now, isn't it?

    Great stuff, Amy - I am jealous of your reading "parlour" :)

    Paul

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    1. I would end up in a mess of paper and clippings and paint.

      And now? I'm just getting started. :)

      I still get distracted easily- I hope my focus improves the longer I'm sober. Guess I'd better practice that too.

      Cheers. :)

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  8. You are awesome and a beautiful writer...

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